Open Post: Hosted By A Knocked Up Katie Price As RainHO Brite - Webmaster News

New Post has been published on http://www.outils-webmaster.eu/open-post-hosted-by-a-knocked-up-katie-price-as-rainho-brite/

Katie Price would rather be spending her time trolling cross dressing boxing rings and male strip clubs for her next husband since the last one did her wrong by passing his peen to her home wrecking slut whore tramp best friend, but she’s gotta put food on the table and keep the Botox closet in her bathroom fully stocked, so she went back to “work” today.

The modern day Isis who gifted the world with earth angel Harvey Price shoved her roasted pumpkin tits into a candy raver hooker dress to bring some slutty Fruit Stripes gum glamour to a photo call for a hair dye removal product called Colour B4 in London today. If you took an old Popples doll, strapped two plastic cantaloupes to its chest and then sprinkled hair from Lady CaCa’s rainbow colored-merkin, a dollop of smegma from Miley Cyrus’ tongue, a drop of Katy Perry’s glittery tit sweat and the essence of Nina Hagen (aka the inside of a glow stick) on top of it while chanting the lyrics to the Rainbow Brite theme song, it will turn into Katie Price.

Katie Price’s ex-husband can chew on it, because this is the kind of crazy he’s missing out on. If he doesn’t want it anymore, that Mint man from Candy Land will definitely hit it.

Pics: Wenn.com

Source: http://dlisted.com/2014/06/04/open-post-hosted-by-a-knocked-up-katie-price-as-rainho-brite/

Open Post: Hosted By Jehovah’s Sexiest Witness Silently Reading You With His Eyes - Webmaster News

New Post has been published on http://www.outils-webmaster.eu/open-post-hosted-by-jehovahs-sexiest-witness-silently-reading-you-with-his-eyes/

I have the eating habits of a Jolie-Pitt child, so I was struck down with that nasty acid reflux shit and it felt like something was stuck in my throat. It felt like I was constantly deep throating the Hammaconda and that feeling will give you the tingles at first, but after a while it becomes really annoying. After every single one of your hippie auntie’s home remedies didn’t work, my doctor temporarily put me on the devil’s drug Nexium. Nexium’s side effects got me feeling like a bunch of abominable snowmen ran a train on me in a walk-in freezer. I’ve got the chills, body aches and my back hurts. But for a brief second, all my aches disappeared and my body froze up when I saw this picture of the regal, bitchy ebony dandelion judging all of the homely simpletons in front of him at the French Tennis Open in Paris today. The purple pill cured me for a second and it’s name isn’t Nexium.

While looking like the middle-aged wife of a traveling pastor in the 70s, Prince reigned over all those hos at the French Open. I don’t know who played, but I do know that Prince won the match. Not pictured are the dozens of peasants who are bowing down and throwing their home address at him, so he can come to their house and teach them the word of Jehovah. They won’t listen to the words coming out of his pretty mouth (mostly because he’s so tiny that the sound of his voice doesn’t travel that far up), but they will find a higher power when they look down and gaze deep into his magnificent afro.

Pics: Splash

Source: http://dlisted.com/2014/06/02/open-post-hosted-by-jehovahs-sexiest-witness-silently-reading-you-with-his-eyes/

Open Post: Hosted By The Reunion Of Shay-Lean Woodley And Her Beloved Toe Shoes - Webmaster News

New Post has been published on http://www.outils-webmaster.eu/open-post-hosted-by-the-reunion-of-shay-lean-woodley-and-her-beloved-toe-shoes/

Cue the Peaches & Herb! Shay-Lean Woodley has been reunited with her hideous rubber hoof covers and it feeeeels so goooooood. Now that Shay-Lean is finished her STFU-filled promotional duties as ambassador for that Hunger Games knock-off she was in (Divergent? Detergent? Something like that) she can finally kick off her fancy esspensive high heels and slip on a pair of toe-stranglers. It’s time to wrap your toes in the warm, sweaty embrace of vulcanized rubber, Shay-Lean; you deserve it.

The New Agey bundle of dried white sage with the Waffle House name couldn’t have been reunited with her best friends at a better time, because Shay-Lean needs somebody to Shay-Lean on. During a press conference for the film Clouds of Sils Maria in Cannes, Chloë Grace Moretz and her bitchy little umlaut maybe sorta threw some shade at Shay-Lean when she described the expectations of a celebrity:

“You have to be the most realistic person, the one that makes your own toothpaste — that’s what it is now.”

She then went on to say she enjoyed the scenes in Clouds of Sils Maria that make fun of the “bad acting” of today’s popular “blockbuster post-apocalyptic we-all-live-in-space movies“. And then she slammed her locker and told the rest of the 6th grade girls: “Like, really, a teenage cancer movie? Who are you, Mandy Moore?” 

Whatever. Chloë is clearly jealous she doesn’t have a group of friends as tight as Shay-Lean and her toe shoes (no, literally, the toe area of those shoes are super tight). Here’s more of Shay-Lean in New York wearing those hideous shoes. On a positive note, she’s actually wearing shoes.

Pics: Splash

Source: http://dlisted.com/2014/05/31/open-post-hosted-by-the-reunion-of-shay-lean-woodley-and-her-beloved-toe-shoes/

Open Post: Hosted By Scout Willis’ Activist Nipples - Webmaster News

New Post has been published on http://www.outils-webmaster.eu/open-post-hosted-by-scout-willis-activist-nipples/

The spawns of Demi Moore and Bruce Willis have always been pretty useless and the only reason they’re semi-famous-ish is because they were made with famous sperm and came out of a famous vagina. But one of them has finally used her parents’ fame for a good and worthy cause. Scout Willis is protesting against Instagram’s ban of lady nipples by walking around with her tit knobs out in NYC. Scout only picks the worthiest of causes.

RiRi recently threw an “I QUIT THIS BITCH” at Instagram after they deleted a picture of her pierced nips on the cover of Lui Magazine.  I guess Instagram did the same thing to Scout and she’s not going to take it anymore. Tater Head’s younger sister doesn’t understand why Instagram allows pictures of sexy chicks almost showing their nips but deletes pictures of breast cancer survivors and women breastfeeding. So Scout has taken her nips to the streets of NYC, where anyone can go topless legally, to protest against Instagram’s lady nipple censorship. Scout tweeted two pictures of her nips in the city along with the popular hashtag #FreeTheNipple.

Here’s Scout risking cutting her nips on bodega flower cellophane while protesting against Instagram’s anti-nipple policy.

You go, Scout! Use those nipples to protest against a private company’s policies (and to kind of promote yourself)! You know, isn’t Instagram also anti-peen too? They don’t allow peen pics, right? Someone should protest that too. Jon Hamm, Michael Fassbender, Idris Alba, anyone?!

And since some of your bosses are anti-nips, the Bruce and Demi-free pics of Scout’s nips are here and here.

Source: http://dlisted.com/2014/05/28/open-post-hosted-by-scout-willis-activist-nipples/

Open Post: Hosted By Chicken Cutlets In A Bikini - Webmaster News

New Post has been published on http://www.outils-webmaster.eu/open-post-hosted-by-chicken-cutlets-in-a-bikini/

It would not be a national holiday if the paps didn’t get pictures of forever international supermodel and the reigning queen of the ho stroll Phoebe Price working extremely hard by walking and wearing a bikini. True story: The paps had a chance to pap Justin Bieber in a hotel room getting pegged by a Cuban model wearing a rubber Usher mask, but they skipped out on that shit when they heard that Chicken Cutlets was walking along the beach with her freckled poultry titties looking like two shaved guinea pigs snuggling together to keep warm. The paps know their priorities and know that nothing is more important or newsworthier than pictures of PP walking. (Slight correction: The only thing more important, interesting and newsworthier than a picture of PP walking is a picture of her dog Henry pissing on a pile of seaweed.)

And am I just stoned or does PP’s left knee look like Newt Gingrich wearing an eye patch?

Pics: Splash

Source: http://dlisted.com/2014/05/26/open-post-hosted-by-chicken-cutlets-in-a-bikini/

Open Post: Hosted By The Return Of Mrs. Doubtfire - Webmaster News

New Post has been published on http://www.outils-webmaster.eu/open-post-hosted-by-the-return-of-mrs-doubtfire/

Damn, Euphegenia, what happened??? If this isn’t the most low-budget, last-minute mall Santa version of Mrs. Doubtfire; bitch looks like a busted Mrs. Featherbottom, and that says a lot, since Mrs. Featherbottom was more busted-looking than Franklin.

Seeing Robin Williams (yes that’s Robin Williams and yes I’m very bummed out yeah, that’s probably not Robin Williams, but for now let’s just pretend, because it’s more fun) crashing the Cannes red carpet dressed up as Mrs. Doubtfire makes me feel a lot of things: sad, super-sad, depressed, hopeless. Just all kinds of sad, really. I mean, I figured the upcoming sequel to Mrs. Doubtfire was going to be a pile of shit, but I never thought it was going to be this smelly. Does he really need the money that badly? If so, Robin should have been swinging that purse around to collect donations. “Today I’m wearing an old lady wig and a fat suit, but tomorrow I could be in rainbow suspenders and doing that nanu-nanu shit. Help me, please; I have an Academy Award, this is so degrading.”

Here’s more of the empty shell of Robin Williams competing with Kim Kardashian to see who brought more latex, fake hair, and cheap butt padding to France with them. I know, you can’t even really compare the two: Mrs. Doubtfire actually spends time with her kids.

Pics: Wenn

Source: http://dlisted.com/2014/05/25/open-post-hosted-by-the-return-of-mrs-doubtfire/

Open Post: Hosted By Sheamus’ Ginger Nipples - Webmaster News

New Post has been published on http://www.outils-webmaster.eu/open-post-hosted-by-sheamus-ginger-nipples/

If you’re like me, then you probably spent a good chunk of your day hooked up to an IV drip full of some mind-numbing shit while reading about the horrific shooting near UC Santa Barbara and watching the videos of that creepier and crazier Patrick Bateman going on about how he’s a gentlemen who can’t get laid. We could all use a seriously potent palate cleanser, so here’s panty cream-inducing picture after panty cream-inducing picture of freshly waxed, greased-up Irish hot piece Sheamus winning some fancy WWE belt after manhandling another hot piece at the O2 Arena in Dublin yesterday.

Sheamus is so greasy and so hairless and so white that he looks like a cracked open lobster tail. I’d hit it until I got third degree burns and I’d keep hitting it. You just want to sit on his face and you wouldn’t even care that your ass cheeks would be stained with the orange paint he colors his goatee with.

Yes, we all definitely needed this ginger palate cleanser today.

Pics: Wenn.com

Source: http://dlisted.com/2014/05/24/open-post-hosted-by-sheamus-ginger-nipples/